So, I decided to blog. It seems the thing to do these days and I have NO idea who will read this or who would want to read this.....but here goes!
Yes, I am really doing this! In 26 days, on March 13th, I will walk down steps, then an aisle, stand under a chuppah and marry Dr. Jeff Donahue. I will become his wife, his partner, his trusted team mate in life and he will be my husband. WOW!! HUSBAND!! This is so foreign to me and yet, I have longed for this day for many years. I'm in my late 40's and have not been married before.
Jeff and I met on match.com on January 5, 2008. My sister got fed up with all the schmucks I was dating and found Jeff on match.com for me. I looked at his profile, but he could not see me looking at him since I was on my sister's account. The next day, very synchronistically, he e-mailed me on my account. Interesting...huh?
So, here I am, two years later only 26 days away from marrying this amazing man! I'm nervous, excited and sad all at once. Sad? you ask. Although I am beyond happy with Jeff, we both lost our parents in the last 6 months. My mother, business partner, best friend, fabulous advice giver, spiritual mentor, dropped her body in June. Ariel Wolfe. This is so hard without her. Sometimes the sadness leaves me breathless. I miss her.....beyond words. I cannot believe she isn't here experiencing this with me....and if one more person tells me that "she is here, she is always with you"...I'm going to scream!!! I miss her!! It's not the same on this planet without her!!
I guess this is not a very uplifting post, but it's what I felt like writing about. Isn't that what blogging is about?? I am finally getting married and I want my mom here. I know, that sounds like a little kid stomping her feet and screaming..."I want my MOMMY!!" Well, I do! This is just as much her celebration as it is mine. She counseled me through so many dysfunctional relationships, and wrapped me in her arms as I cried longing for a life partner. This is for her as much as it is for me.
I love you mom!
Stay tuned for what tomorrow may bring......hopefully a happier post.
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Honey....I am so happy for you and Jeff. Enjoy every moment! Love you!
ReplyDeletexo,
Miss Kelley
HI Liz,
ReplyDeleteI loved your post. I am so happy that you have finally met (and going to marry) the love of your life. I too, am sad that you wonderful Mom will not be there (in the flesh) to share in the celebration with you.
I can totally relate you your feelings about your Mom, as I feel the same about mine. Right now, mine is in the ICU clinging to life by a thread, and my heart is aching at the thought of losing her. I guess it doesn't matter how old a daughter is, we still always want our Mommy. Not a bad thing...just goes to show how strong that bond of love can be.
It is my sincere wish that you are blessed with another strong bond of love in Jeff and that your life together manifests your heart's desire!
With love,
Lynda Chrystal
You are entitled to feel what you feel. I miss her too, and dammit she should be here. So, we'll act as if and have a ball!
ReplyDeleterita curtis
Yes, there is actually someone out there reading!
ReplyDeleteMarriage... what can I say! Enjoy every second of it, and maybe, if you have time between party planning and running a business read eat, pray love and then committed! You will laugh and cry but then you will make your own conclusion of it all!
Liz, life is too short and too precious to be stressed out! Get inside your bathtub, fill it up with bubbles and pamper yourself!
I wish you both many years filled with happiness and respect!
Mazal Tov,
Tere Serfaty
My heart goes out to you my dear. When I say I know how you feel, I really do. You see my mom died the week before I got married. She was quite ill through out my entire engagement. She missed several of my bridal showers as well as shopping for my wedding gown. It got so bad that at one point I even tried to postpone the wedding ... but my dad looked at me and said, "It's your mother's life dream to see you get married. We will not postpone this wedding."
ReplyDeleteWhile I know in my heart she saw the whole thing, the only time she phsically saw me in my wedding dress was a few days before she died when I tried it on for her in her hospital room and she saw it from her bed. It fit me that day ... ten days later when I actually got married ... I had lost so much weight I could practically turn around inside of it. Actually, that pretty much described the whole of it ... it just all seemed pretty "turned around" ... not at all the way you'd expect your wedding day to be. Life can be quite perplexing at times.
May Archangel Rapael and the healing angels soothe both your heart and Jeff's as you begin this wonderful new phase of your lives.
With blessings of joy, Lori
I am so touched by all of your posts. Thank you so much for taking the time to share with me from your hearts. I am in awe of what all of you shared. It's just beautiful and truly helps me to know that I am not alone...that a few of you have gone through difficult times and how you navigated through it.
ReplyDeleteI will take a wonderful bubble bath and work on being present and breathing in this moment.
You have all given me strength through your stories.
Peace, love, joy!